Saturday, May 3, 2008

Things Seen on a Moped - Vietnamese Edition



I've been amusing myself recently with an old favorite - entertaining things seen spotted on the back of a moped. I'm finding here in Vietnam, the people are more creative and industrious with what they'll strap to a moped - it transports a lot more than just the odd monk or gaggle of toddlers, as witnessed in Thailand and Cambodia. Tragically I'm usually on a bus and whip by these fascinating scenes too quickly to capture them, but I'm managed to include a couple shots.

Here's a quick list of my favorites.

1. Trees

I've frequently seen trees, complete with root systems and trailing clumps of dirt, strapped to a rack on the back of a moped. And we're not talking about small shrubs, but full-on trees, my friends.

2. Vases

Vases on a moped - seems to me like you're just asking for trouble doing this. Oh, and the size of the vases? Well, that's what makes it truly ridiculous. Last week I saw two vases attached to the back of a moped, and without exaggerating at all, each vase was about as tall as I am. How crazy is that?

3. Piglets in Burlap Sacks

I went to a market last week in northwest Vietnam. The weekly market had an active animal trade business going on, with piglets, dogs and horses doing a brisk business. After trading was done we saw 3 piglets ingeniously strapped to the back of a moped, and the only visible parts of their bodies were their snouts, poking out through holes cut in the bottom of burlap sacks. If you didn't look closely you couldn't even tell what was in the sacks. Oh, except for the occasional squeal that pierced the air - that sort of gave it away.

4. A Moped

Yes, that's right, I saw a moped on a moped. Let me explain. Behind the driver of moped A sat a passenger. The passenger had moped B gripped in his arms, with the front tire balancing precariously on the seat between himself and the driver. Can you imagine if it fell off as they whipped down a highway? OUch!

5. A Bed
Now, I have entitled this one 'bed' for dramatic effect. It was actually a headboard and footboard for a bed, with the headboard on one moped and the footboard on another. Still, I was mildly amused.

6. Dogs

Ok, this one actually makes me pretty nauseous. The Vietnamese eat pretty much anything they can catch. This, unfortunately includes dogs. I met some truly obnoxious Americans last week who seemed to be proud that they'd sampled dog from a Vietnamese restaurant. They deserved to be slapped - partially for being obnoxious Americanos, but mostly for eating dogs. (In my opinion it's one thing to eat dog because it's part of your culture, but it's another thing entirely to do it just so you can run home to your idiot friends with a story. Stupid people can be found everywhere - they don't stay at home, unfortunately.) Ok, enough ranting. Back to how this relates to mopeds. On a highway the other day our bus passed a couple of mopeds, each with two cages loaded on the the seat behind the driver. The cages had about 4 small-medium sized dogs squished into each one, so I imagine I saw about a dozen dogs out for their last joy ride. As we drove past I saw one sloppy pink tongue whipping about in the wind, so the pup on top of the pile was enjoying himself, but the rest looked miserable. Who can blame them? (Now granted, I found this more traumatic than the piglets, and they were on their way to an eventual death as well. But somehow, its very, very different.)

7. Me in a Pink Garbage Bag
I just spent 5 hours on the back of a moped, touring the demilitarized zone. An hour and a half of that was in a downpour. Seriously good times.

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